My Parents, and I Were in a Crash and I Lost My Brother and I Actually Saw Hem While Dieing What Should I Do?

Question by : My parents, and I were in a crash and I lost my brother and I actually saw hem while dieing what should I do?
I was 10 years old I’m 12 years now now and one day I was in a U- Hal truck with my mom dad and bother and we stopped off at the bank so I was sitting there with my dad and all the sudden my leg was shacking, my heart was racing and I felt like I was going to pass out unconscious. And my mom and my bother came back, I didn’t say anything to anyone but my dad. And like 15 minutes later after dropping stuff of at the storage space I got hungry, so we were going to Mcdonalds for lunch but we forgot something so we went back to the storage space and 5 minutes later I was falling asleep my dad was already asleep and I felt the truck vier to the side of the road and look over and my mom had passed out at the weal and next thing I knew WHAM into a tree. My dad has a really badly broken arm and my mom had a lot of fracktures as for my brother, he didn’t make it. I got out and went to see my brother and his head was bashed in (sorry) and I can never get that image out my head now. I loved hem SO much more than anything. And now I have nightmares and I act out alot not doing what I’m told and get grounded alot, sleep later and after the crash I moved to Asheville NC where I met a great friend a best friend and like 6 months later I moved we still talk A LOT and it makes me feel better but my parents don’t get that and the think I’m spending way too much time with her cause I’m home schooled (Iwant to got to school) and I NEVER leave the house because of my parents being hurt and she is the only person I know outside this house. And now they’er threttening to take the phone away and I’m hurt too my doc said I might have arthritis in th legs, I had a broken arm in 2007, I have asthma(you know with and inhailer) and its just too much stress and the hormorns becaues I’m a teenage girl too, too, much. So why do I act out and yell and get mad over little things like I lost a sock or a belt? Are my parents mean or under stress? Did I some what know something bad was going to happen? Why am I so paranoied? HELP! I miss my old life. P.S there’s MORE going on with me but I don’t feel like going into it plus its late and I should be in bed. 11:00pm. so thanks! bye. scrach that I HATE my parents thier mean and just don’t care!

Best answer:

Answer by Leah D
you NEED to see a councellor. but this im sorry will never leave your mind- you will always have nightmares and remember everything that day. this is no way your fault and u need to know that trauma is stored in an area in the brain that holds memories and you will always reflect on your past. there is nothing you could have done to save him…my father was involved in a crash that killed a man. he hasnt slept in two years, having seen what he did. he talks to psychiatrists and has not been the same since. you will never get over this but it will get easier as time goes on. remember your brother as he was not what happened to him. possibly you can set up a memorial or something to honour your brother and you will have something you can focus on. Distraction and lots of talking is the best thing you can do for yourself. Love yourself for who you are and what you will become xoxo

Answer by Kiki
aw, baby, there is so much that i wanna say to you i don’t even know where to begin.

i guess first ill say that this really is too much for you to have to deal with. so give yourself a break. ALL 12 year old girls act out. I was a hell raiser and all i had to deal with was my parents getting divorced and neglecting me. you lost your brother in a really traumatic way. So of course you want to sleep in, leave the house, be with your friend. and none of that is wrong. i am not sure what is going on with your parents, but it sounds like there might be some drug or alcohol addiction going on? if i am off base, i apologize, but you did say there was allot going on that you didn’t mention. it is good that you are reaching out for help.

you are not paranoid, you are just grieving. asking yourself if you knew something bad was going to happen is basically saying “could i have prevented it?” but the answer is no. you were not the one driving, your mom was. it was her responsibility to stay awake and be safe. i am not saying that you should blame your mom necessarily, but i am saying DO NOT blame yourself.

my advise is this: don’t put much effort into the people that are not helping you cope. you have too much going on in your life right now to focus on people who are not helping you, even if those people are your parents. but do try to avoid conflict by doing the minimum it takes to make them happy.

focus on all of the things that will help you heal and grow– your friend is one. writing is another. reaching out to people online. maybe exercising in the house, because im sure you feel cooped up.

finally, if you ever want to talk, you should email me. i went through allot as a teenager and i survived. you will survive too. you will be so strong one day because of all that you coped with.

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